Listening to music..

Who am I?
Who am I not?
Who do I want to be?

wondering, searching, trying to find an answer I am packing on my way to visit my dear friend Francesca in Brescia, Italy.

Have a nice week "a"nd!

Layers upon Layers

In Milan stores are already filled with autumn clothes, I love looking at sweaters, coats, fur vests at the end of July, it makes me pondering on what I'd like to look like this autumn 2009. Window shopping is very inspirational, it puts you in the mood to sew and create something new and one-of-a-kind..This year I would like to play on big, chunky layers (like nobody had done it before, right!?!) Voluminous scaves, soft cardigans, deconstructed jackets, elongated revers on boyfriend jackets, jogging pants, shorts with masculine silhouettes, soft knitwear and sexy sheer slip dresses à la Missoni is filling my moodboard for this upcoming Fall...

Space-dyed print and entwined yarns creadte a melange and tweed effect to die-for.

This passion about Missoni's Fall collection made me interested in digging into Missoni's history a little bit..

The Missoni fashion phenomenon began in 1953 when Rosita and Ottavio "Tai" Missoni established a studio in Gallarate, a small town north of Milan.

In 1958 they presented in Milan their first collection, called Milano-Simpathy, which was the first to bear the Missoni label. The business prospered, with the support of legendary editor Anna Paggi, then at Arianna.

On a trip to New York, Rosita met the French stylist Emmanuelle Khanh in 1965, which led to a collaboration and a radical new collection the following year. Their fame was assured in April 1967, when they were invited to show at the Pitti Palace in Florence. Rosita told the models to remove their bras, supposedly because they were the wrong colour and showed through the thin lamé blouses. The material became transparent under the lights and caused a sensation.The Missonis were not invited back the following year, but the business went from strength to strength, building a new factory in Sumirago in 1969.With their designs being championed in the US Diana Vreeland, editor of Vogue US, they opened their first boutique there, inside Bloomingdales.

The early 1970s saw Missoni reach the peak of their influence in the fashion world. Rosita has admitted that in the 1990s she lost interest in fashion, before handing over to her daughter Angela in 1998. Rosita now is responsible for overseeing the design of all home projects.



Marco's succulent plants.

Shopping at Marni with my mom makes me happy.

My neighbors' cat Maya sniffing my purchase.


Giacomina, Roasted Chicken and the 80's.

Yesterday it was the first time in a long time that I spent the entire afternoon with my grandmom's friend Giacomina. I remember spending time with her when I was in high school, I remember when I first wanted to dress differently than my classmates, when I wanted to stand out. Giacomina is the one who supported me, besides my parents, she taught me how to sew and she got me passionate about it. She is such an inspiration!

Today I had lunch at my grandmom's to make her happy, I am always abroad and she never has the chance to spend time with me. She drives me crazy sometimes but that's who she is it's part of who she is and that's what everybody likes about her! For lunch, we had roasted chicken and new potatoes. Nothing fancy but quite flavouful. Roasted chicken here in Italy is not the same as Super Chicken in Falls Church, VA. I wonder if I ever going to find a chicken as juicy and well-seasoned as Super Chicken...

Talking about chickens, today for the first time I cut the ribcage of the chicken myself.. When bones have been roasted, they become so fragile, I felt so big and strong compared to the little roasted bird in front of me..by the way I am terrified by birds and feathers so it was weird realizing how small and harmless they actually are when cooked.

I am looking forward to tomorrow, I am going to Milan with Mamma Lella and hopefully I'll be able to check few photography exhibitions out, plus some healthy sale shopping. Even though I prefer 60's Jean Seberg style above all, I am kind of intrigued by this new 80's revival wave spreading through the stores.

In June while I was an intern for Harper's Bazaar Japan, one of the editor asked me to try this Bluemarine dress on so that the editor-in-chief could see what dress they were using for the shooting, at first I was like "wow this dress is loud!" but then when I had the all outfit on (even though it did not quite fit because a size 0) I felt like I reached a point where I need to explore and experiment more with different shapes, cuts and lengths.

When I was in high-school I definitely loved experimenting with my style, but now I reached a point where I feel like I am stuck following trends that I always try to repulse.. I adore reading fashion magazine but I feel like they corrupted my mind into liking what they show instead of trying new things out myself so that I can put together something fresh and unique.


The bright side of life...

Since I have been back to Italy for my summer holidays I created a morning routine. I wake up, splash my face with cold water and have a light breakfast, while my parents get ready to go to work. After my biscuits and homemade strawberry jam accompanied by milk tea, I brush my teeth and check my email (mostly junk mail). Consequently, I dedicate my time to my blog daily reading activity. This morning, while I was going through few blogs I encoutered Oh so Coco's post on Tim Walker as well as Disneyrollergirl's post on Tim Walker's In Fashion SHOWstudio interview.

I have always loved his photographs, so magical, so dramatic and evocative. It reminds me of when I was still living in England and my University student life. Colorful tights, flats, floral vintage full skirts and cotton pearl buttoned cardies. Books, photocopies and highlighters always in the bag.

When I think of Tim Walker I immediately recollect his ad campaigns for Kate Spade. So vibrant, so dreamy, books and clothes surrounded by a mist of romanticism. A hue of the past set in a glamorous present.

There is a certain positiveness to it that makes me smile.

When I look at them, my brain start fantasizing about California, warm and sunny places, 60s movie stars, the American Dream, or at least what it stood for.

These photos make you look at the bright side of life, how easy it can be and how difficult we make it to be.


Broken in 24000 pieces...

It has been hard recently. Get your heart broken in 24000 piece, broken by those "24000 baci" I remember he used to give me when he came to visit me in Italy the first time. It makes me wonder about the true selfish nature of "male-kind". Why do they run away? Why cannot they be alone and mourn the loss of a special and important person by themselves? Why do they need to hide the pain underneath the easy blanket of starting a new relationship with somebody else after only few weeks they stepped out of an intense, romantic, beautiful 4 years relationship?
It has been hard for me to digest the pill of failure, it has been hard for me to be disillusioned by a person I believe I knew really well, or at least I thought I knew well. It has been hard and it still is.
I guess it will be ideal for me too to find a person right now that attracts me so the he could blown me away and distract me from this intense state of loneliness. It will be so ideal to fall in love with a person who I know is leaving for a year long soon, so that what we will have together is just going to help me recovering from this pain and make me forget why I was in this stage of torment, discomfort and what I am leaving behind.
But would it be fair to myself? Isn't it just a way not to deal with your own issues, doubts, fears, passions once again? Isn't it just another way not to think about who we are and where we really want to go with out lives?
I remember him once telling me "I have never been single"..realizing this doesn't it make you wonder why I cannot be just by myself? I believe at this point he is afraid of being alone, he is afraid to work his feelings out once and for all, he is afraid of dealing with himself and his issues that cyclically kept on bothering our being together and his own existence. I guess for a man it's more difficult to also control his male physical attribute. I guess they are weaker, and they differently deal with losses.

It makes me sad thinking that a person who was part of me for such a long time is replacing me with somebody else so quickly, am I so easy to replace? Wow.. this is definitely not a confidence booster, isn't it? I guess I just have to start thinking about myself and who I want to be. It is kind of scary the idea that after December I may not see him ever again for the rest of my life.. I wonder if he ever consider this..

Moving on, "who loves me will follow me" ("Chi mi ama mi segua").. that's what we say in Italian.

Last night I was talking on the phone with C. and we were remembering the summer we met in 2007.. that was the best summer of my life. I met her for only 2 weeks, and we just clicked. She is coming to visit me in Italy in 13 days and it's really exciting! After I am done with Japan in December, I am going to try to move to NYC .. last night we were dreaming of sharing a flat together there and how cool and exciting it would be!! ..

I was talking to my bother's girlfriend, H. she is the sweetest, strongest, always-smiling person I have ever met. She is a true inspiration, she is a wake up call for me, to be less self-centered and enjoy more the company of the people around me. Love makes everything better, and sharing your life with somebody else is great but knowing who you are, your passions and where you want to be is even greater. My brother and H. are not running anywhere, they do not feel the rush to purse a life in the same place yet, they are living serenely their independent lives without the constant urge of being together 24/7.. I think this is something I want to reflect on, and definitely try to embrace in my next relationship. I guess I have learnt it too late to save my relationship with T.

From today on, I am going to take care of my blog, write on it almost daily, update it my birdcage of thoughts.. I bet it's going to be a little repetitive especially in the next few weeks because I am still on the verge of a breakdown but I hope this is going to be my relief valve.

p.s. I have chose this picture by Alfred Stieglitz because next week I am going to visit "Camera Works-L'opera fotografica di Stieglitz, Steichen e Strand tra Europa e America"
in Milan Palazzo della Ragione o Broletto Nuovo